Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
