I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
