Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize