I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
