Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize
