i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I'm always down for nudity.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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