so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
