I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize