I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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