Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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