I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
