hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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