Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize