How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
