Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
