How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
