My friends, they love my intelligence
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
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