Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
