Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
