how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
