I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
There r osticjed everywhere
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
You can't just leave with hair like that
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
