i don't like sucking hair
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
