I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
