But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
she looked like the before picture.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
