HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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