I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
