I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
