I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
