I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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