I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
