Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize