Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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