Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
