maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I deserve this hangover.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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