It's like a parade of train wrecks.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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