I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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