he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I want you more than these girls want KFC
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize
