Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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