How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize