I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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