I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
