i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
