Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
