when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
