Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
