Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
