i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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