Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
