i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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