She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
