Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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