shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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