i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
