if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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