youre lurking in front of me
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
