i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
