i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
