Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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