Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
