"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
