My sheets look like a crime scene.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize