where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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