I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize