i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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