Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
