This house was built for laser tag.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
