When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
