Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
