It's Friday. Sex?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
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