don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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