I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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