It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Randomize
