I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
