I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
