i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
