normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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