when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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