Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
