Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
