Me too!
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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