Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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