And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
It's official drugs can't kill me
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
