i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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