apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
