He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
