I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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